The greek words which come next in the list of traits for Agape are translated ‘do not act unseemly’. Several translations interpret the word as rude.
When I first, looked at todays Agape trait and saw rude, I shrugged and said what more is there to say. Don’t be rude. I investigated rude and unseemly to see if there was a secret deep meaning hidden in the definitions.
Unseemly — inappropriate for the time or place. Not in keeping with established taste. Inappropriate behavior, clothing, or speech.
Rude—Impolite, discourteous, harsh
We’re never rude or unseemly right?
The strange thing about rude is it is cultural. What’s polite in California might be totally strange in New York. Being from a part of the country where we apologize to chairs when we bump into them, I might have a higher expectation for the surface level manners.
My husband, a New Yorker, and I visited Coney Island a few years back. We walked side by side down the street. Two police officers passed us. I nodded and waited for the return nod. There was no nod. No recognition of my nod. I felt slighted and angry. My husband laughed. “if they nodded to every person they passed in New York their heads would come off.”
Realizing the little things which people perceive as polite or rude in a group or a region is part of Agape love. Love requires us to take the time to care about what the other person will judge as polite or rude. We also need to not be overly sensitive to what we perceive as rude.
Unseemly?
Ever throw a hissy fit? I have thrown a few and I have a feeling these fall in the unseemly category. Agape does not throw a hissy fit. You can discuss an issue. You can even fight for what you believe is right, but if tempers are flaring, unseemly can’t be far behind.
Or
Internet picking at people. You’re in a debate with a person and you try to ridicule them. I’m guessing that falls under unseemly. I think Agape doesn’t discount their point of view by pointing out they didn’t spell a word right. Or call them stupid. Or a racist. Or a sexist. Or call them a liar. You get my point. The internet is bringing out a lot of unseemly in our society.
Or how about in the car.
Blaring the horn and screaming are not Agape.
Our occasional snide comments about someone else. The gossip pointing out others short comings. Even the use of words or off color jokes that make someone else uncomfortable are unseemly.
I’ve rethought Rude and Unseemly. I think this is a biggie. To avoid being rude or unseemly, we must care about the others around us in the smallest things. We must think of others on a continuous basis. It forces us to have others on our mind in a caring manner at all times.
Agape does not act unseemly, is not rude.
Fourth Day Adventures 